Fistful of Levels — Book 3: The Kindly Goblin

Level 1 forever. A mop that steams like a small miracle. And a goblin clerk who brought biscuits…and paperwork. Drew’s glitch means he’ll never level, but the market doesn’t need a champion—it needs a grown-up. When Scrib, a painfully polite goblin clerk, files for Sparring Privileges (witnessed aisle, crash mats, snack clause), Drew agrees to teach open-palm takedowns where everyone can see them. Training turns into a spectacle-free festival—until a slick racketeer from Turnspike shows up selling “tiered safety” that skips the clinic. Nope. With benches set, lanterns pulsing, and a jelly ooze named Merry eating the slicks, Drew and crew run the lane the only way that works: chairs before blades, inside voices, read it out loud. When bandits test the goblin burrow, it’s a Queue Siege—one at a time, clean seats, zero glory. And as rumors sharpen into contracts, the city learns a stubborn truth: you don’t buy safety—you witness it. Expect: • Goblin etiquette, snack diplomacy, and waivers that bite back • “Elbows are for doors,” early holds, and rope that gets parked, not fought • A public hearing that might just civilize Turnspike—if everyone keeps breathing Perfect for fans of cozy-competent LitRPG, found family, and quietly kicking rot out of a city with rules, tea, and a mop. Buy The Kindly Goblin now and join Drew’s Level-1 crusade where boring wins, biscuits count, and the lane stays open.