I Refuse to Be the Dark Lord

HEADLINE: The System wanted a Dark Lord. It got a Middle Manager. Ethan Cole died the way he lived: staring at a spreadsheet at 11:45 PM. When he wakes up in the magical Kingdom of Aethelgard, he is offered a second chance. The System grants him the terrifying class of Necromancer and issues a legendary quest to defeat the Demon King. Ethan’s response? "Per my last email: No." After a decade of corporate burnout, Ethan has zero interest in saving the world. He finds a dilapidated cottage, ignores the System’s apocalyptic warnings, and decides to do the one thing he never had time for in his previous life: Start a farm. But agriculture is hard labor, and Ethan’s back isn't what it used to be. Fortunately, his class comes with a unique set of "HR Solutions": Raise Dead? No, that’s "Recruiting Unpaid Interns." Dark Rituals? No, that’s "Aggressive Soil Fertilization." Dungeon Crawling? No, that’s just "Inventory Management." Armed with a shovel, a rusted bucket-wearing skeleton tank, and a frightening amount of caffeine, Ethan sets out to build the most efficient agricultural startup in the realm. But peace is hard to monetize. Between mana-eating beetles, greedy tax collectors from the Merchant Guild, and a misunderstood mushroom monster living in the basement, Ethan will have to use every ounce of his corporate cunning to protect his assets. The Demon King can wait. The harvest cannot. About this Series: Jump into a cozy, slice-of-life LitRPG adventure that blends farming simulation with RPG progression. Perfect for fans of Beware of Chicken and Legends & Lattes, but with more skeletons and spreadsheets. What to expect: 💀 Managerial Necromancy: Using undead minions for automated farming. 🌾 Base Building: Upgrading a ruined cottage into a magical fortress. 📈 Corporate Humor: Fighting enemies with tax laws and hostile takeovers. ☕ Cozy Vibes: Low stress, high satisfaction, and lots of coffee. 🚫 No Harem: Just good business partners.