Man of the House

The job was a secret: houseboy for Sigma Kappa Pi, the first one on campus in ten years. Cook the dinners. Scrub the toilets. Stay a ghost. Then, the night he loses it, his nine-dollar yard-sale word processor starts typing back. It calls itself the Household System. It hands out quests like Feed the Whole House and Get the Little Home Safe. It levels his Cooking and his Listening, and it keeps Heart Sheets on twelve women who still don’t know his name. It also has one rule it won’t stop repeating: nobody in that house is a point. Barry is about to find out why. He’s got a president hiding a fake boyfriend, a pre-law shark playing dumb, and a girl who settles arguments with windows. Across the row, a rival president sits in a blue sedan with a camera and a folder that keeps getting fatter. He can’t out-fight anybody. He can make baked ziti. It might be enough. A cozy, closed-door LitRPG about found family. No dungeons. Lots of doughnuts.