The Ultimate Guide to Virtual Women

Listen. I know what kind of person picks up this guide. Trust me, I was there once. For about an afternoon. My name is Brock Valentine. I run money on a trading desk. I drive a $200,000 imported German sports car. I’m a former model, which is better than a current model: same title, no call times. I have been with 1,412 women. That’s not a brag. That’s a résumé. Then I ran out of real life. So I logged into Crownfall Online, home of the most realistic women ever coded. I spawned as a before photo. Seven years at a $1,000-a-month gym, gone. No car. No abs. Charisma: 4. I filed a ticket. They closed it. A barmaid looked directly through me, which I’m told is called “Tuesday” for most of you. Turns out these women want “levels.” “Stats.” A man who doesn’t lose to a rabbit. Twice. The Queen’s chambers require Level 40, 30 Strength, and a knighthood. I have never been denied entry to anything. I’ve walked into a sold-out restaurant, a yacht in Monaco, and a wedding where I knew neither family. So now I fight things. I hate it. It’s sweaty and they bite. A boar is worth twelve experience. I need seventy-eight thousand. Last week I was in bed with a ten you’ll never meet, more worried about that sum than her nails in my chest. I’m not a gamer. I’m a winner who is temporarily level 6. The Queen is the target. I collected a knight and a nun on the way up. Eighty rules. They all work. Ask anyone in New York. You’re welcome. The Ultimate Guide to Virtual Women is an explicit harem LitRPG comedy. Real stats, real combat, and a man who has never once been wrong. 18+.